im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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