I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
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