I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Randomize
