Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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