the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
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