Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
false alarm, still single
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