I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
