Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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