Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
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