How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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