Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
