you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
