who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
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No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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