peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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