so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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