So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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