Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
false alarm, still single
Randomize