their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
