Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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