Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.