Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.