No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
smell my finger.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
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Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
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maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.