I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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