Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
