he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
