whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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