I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
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