I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
