this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
