I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
