she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
