My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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