People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
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