Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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