: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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