Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Sext me about skeletons
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
