He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
