All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
