New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
And then he peed in my hair
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