better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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