I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
