I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
