mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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