there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize