He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
it's great music for shaving your balls
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
