We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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