I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize
