Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
