He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
