even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
