Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
