redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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