just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
