office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize