just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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