You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
