Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
