I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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