im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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