wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
