you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
The beer is more important than you right now.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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